a new list for a new beginning.

who is it that i want to be someday? i mean, i like myself now, but where am i headed? i’ve been thinking a lot lately about how people always say that for a job, you should just do whatever it is you’d do if you didn’t have to work. well, i would be doing a new art project every month. i go into art supply stores and get mesmerized by the variety of stuff they have that i’ve never done. painting on glass? making jewelry? mosaics with broken glass pieces and flattened marbles? shrinky dinks? i’m there. pop-up cards? decoupage? knitting? fuck yeah. but how does this translate into my work life?

i currently make signs for a grocery store. the people, generally, are great- although they occasionally get on my nerves in the way that siblings do. the work itself- after 7 years- has become mind-numbing and sometimes excruciating. i find myself looking for things to pass the time… all the time. to be fair, there are things i could do, but i’m over it and find it hard to pretend like i care. i’m the kind of person who needs at least a bit of a challenge, and i certainly am not finding it at my current location.

i’m newly single, finally realizing what i want out of a relationship, and that’s a big step in the right direction. now, to find this elusive tall, hilarious, musical, physically active, motivated man who isn’t an addict and wants to have a family someday. this man shouldn’t come into my life for a while, as i am currently not taking applications. i’m honing myself, thanks very much. when i come out of this little cocoon i’m building, shit. it’s on.

things i hope to accomplish while in my cocoon:

-quit smoking.

-finish school.

-get a better apartment.

-learn to make music on the computer with a program my friend’s giving me.

-paint, draw, knit, make more.

-less tv.

-take better care of myself as far as stuff i eat and drink (and smoke, see #1)

-get a little doggy sidekick to take the edge off.

-blog more regularly.

i have a secret blog, but it’s for venting. i have a myspace blog, but it’s for… hmm. i don’t remember. talking to friends, i guess. here, i want to be able to talk about what’s up, from what i ate for lunch and why i loved it, to a book i read or hilarious thing someone said to me. maybe some stories of who on the highway would be killed by my laser eyes if only i had them. there are just times i wanna get something out of my system. i know you understand.

that’s all for now. i’ll be back.